My wife and I are white. We adopted our wonderful African American children at birth. We strive daily to help our son grow up to be a confident, proud and loving black man and our daughter to be a confident, proud and loving black woman. I hope our experiences will help others who are doing the same.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

I read a post on an adoption Facebook page today. It was about a teenage daughter who was adopted talking to her mom about how she looked forward to one day having a biological daughter that she could share DNA with. The gist of the story was that the mom, who had both biological and adopted children was very supportive of the idea. In part, her readiness for such a discussion was because of reading posts on the page by adult adoptees. I posted the following personal account to the thread.

For our first adoption, our social worker was pregnant. She had been adopted into her family. As we undertook the rigorous soul searching process of the home study, she would share her excitement of soon having a biological child–someone who looked like her. We had never had a pregnancy last to birth and found her youthful enthusiastic comments to be surreal. Just a few years earlier we had felt the same way as she did now. It is simply natural to expect your kids to look like you, whether you were adopted or not. I understand there is a very strong desire to share a biological connection if you had never had one. I get it, in part because of my early reluctant training along my adoption path. I look forward to the day, hopefully many years off, when I am a grandpa. I'll love my grandkids no matter what. I also hope both of my children will be able to share the joy of natural child birth with their spouse. Thanks for sharing this your story.

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