I read a post on an adoption Facebook page today. It was about a teenage daughter who was adopted talking to her mom about how she looked forward to one day having a biological daughter that she could share DNA with. The gist of the story was that the mom, who had both biological and adopted children was very supportive of the idea. In part, her readiness for such a discussion was because of reading posts on the page by adult adoptees. I posted the following personal account to the thread.

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For our first adoption, our social worker was pregnant. She had been adopted into her family. As we undertook the rigorous soul searching process of the home study, she would share her excitement of soon having a biological child–someone who looked like her. We had never had a pregnancy last to birth and found her youthful enthusiastic comments to be surreal. Just a few years earlier we had felt the same way as she did now. It is simply natural to expect your kids to look like you, whether you were adopted or not. I understand there is a very strong desire to share a biological connection if you had never had one. I get it, in part because of my early reluctant training along my adoption path. I look forward to the day, hopefully many years off, when I am a grandpa. I'll love my grandkids no matter what. I also hope both of my children will be able to share the joy of natural child birth with their spouse. Thanks for sharing this your story.

We celebrated MLK Jr. holiday like the Johnsons-We went skiing

We decided to celebrate Martin Luther King Jr. holiday like, according to the Johnson family, many African American families do, by going skiing-albeit our family is a 50-50 blend.

My son grew up watching Anthony Anderson movies-Big Momma's House, Kangaroo Jack, Malibu's Most Wanted, Scary Movie 3, Cody Banks 2, Harold and Kumar go to White Castle (not necessarily in that order)- so Black-ish strikes a chord with him.  Anderson's character Dre is constantly concerned that his children, who are being raised in an upper middle class predominately white neighborhood and schools, are not developing a sense of their African American heritage and empathy for black culture.  This too is my concern, as well as many other white parents of adopted black children.  Because of this my wife and I make watching Blackish a family event.  Even though we don't resemble the Johnson family, there are enough similarities that our laughter is often a reflection of our own experiences triggered by Dre's antics.

And as the Johnson's did in this episode our children did this past weekend on a west Michigan ski-slope, increased diversity on the slopes of African American skiers, in our case from two to four.

While there is a strong and thoughtful movement among white parents of adopted African American children to provide opportunities for our children to interact in settings where their skin color is the majority (see my articles in Adoption Today), I feel that it is also important to provide outdoor experiences where my children can develop life skills, exercise and appreciate nature.  Because of this we find ourselves in settings where our children are often among the few people of color.  This includes, camping, skiing, hiking and canoeing.

As we work to instill in our children traits shared by many parents- confidence, sense of adventure, empathy, cultural awareness-we provide opportunities for outdoor adventures and intercultural day to day life experiences.

Black-ish - Celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. National Holiday